


Trauma or: Once for Remus and Once for the Wolf

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Worship, Coming Untouched, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Morning Cuddles, Nipple Play, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Prostate Massage, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 11:34:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20891444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: July 1979. Remus reminisces, or tries not to.





	Trauma or: Once for Remus and Once for the Wolf

Remus was warm and comfortable in bed. Ever since he was five years old, he had preferred sleeping almost cocooned in blankets as it made him feel safer. He had known ever since being attacked by Fenrir Greyback that that sense of security was a false one, that his bed was not in fact ever a safe place for him. It didn’t stop him from trying to reclaim it, and sometimes when he lived underneath the blankets, he could forget that there was a world outside. His bed keeping him in a warm and safe swaddle. Only this summer had he discovered that there was enough room for one more person to inhabit his cocoon. 

His lover awoke before him most mornings, and quite as usual found it difficult to just lie still and enjoy the morning. Sirius, who always slept naked, appeared to be busy getting rid of his pyjamas, but Remus was too lazy to help him much. Another set of hands felt good on him, helped to keep him safe. There was a mouth that took its time exploring each newly exposed inch of skin, a tongue that bathed his sleep-warm skin, lips that kissed almost noiselessly and very occasionally a tiny nip of sharp teeth. 

His neck was sensitive and almost ticklish, indeed he thought he could feel every hair that brushed it when Sirius moved his head along it. Sirius’s thumb stroked over him too, the very gentlest of pressures on his windpipe, so light it could have been a complete accident, although it finalized the work to Remus’s raging hardon. His pyjamas were too tight and didn’t let his cock tent them too much, instead his length was trapped in a rounded shape, and Sirius either realized it or he didn’t, but he decided at right that moment to get up in a low crouch on his knees, giving Remus no chance of rutting against him. It was pure agony, or pure bliss, set under a canopy of enveloping blankets.

The blankets were tight around them and their bodies were radiating heat. Remus’s shoulder was bared gradually and treated to heavenly soft kisses, some quick and barely there, others plush and lingering. Sirius licked carefully into his armpit, and Remus wanted to laugh or push him away, call him out for being a dog, but he didn’t. It was nicer to pretend to be sleepier than what he was, to just lie there and let it happen.

Sirius laid bare a nipple and actually cooed at it. Remus felt a strong urge to hide it away, to protect his poor nipple from scrutiny. They were much too sensitive, Remus thought; they made him feel too much when they were touched, and he didn’t like to be unprotected. Unfortunately Sirius did not seem to realize that there was something wrong with them, something wrong with how aroused Remus got when they were stimulated, indeed he seemed to find it intriguing, and, god forbid even endearing, at least that’s the only way Remus could interpret his lover’s eyes right then. Sirius pressed a kiss to it, then teased the tip of his tongue right into it. Remus hid his crimson face in his hands, back trying to arch up and a humiliating moan breaking through his oral defences, sounding strangled because he was trying so hard to quench it. 

“Perfect,” Sirius told him, then he settled in to suck. Remus squirmed but he couldn’t find it within himself to ask Sirius to stop. His cock twitched and leaked uncontrollably but Sirius’s body didn’t touch it, and Remus’s hands were both pressed over his face, busy trying to shield him from the current onslaught. His pyjama bottoms felt tight and uncomfortable, but they did provide a hint of the friction he both craved and dreaded. Sirius’s thumb found his other nipple underneath the fabric, and there was a content little hum from his lover. Then the sucking continued. 

It was rhythmic and teasing and pulled just a little too hard, making his nipple thrum with something so intense it could have been electricity, only to leave it temporarily numb when it was released. Of course it was pulled straight back in with a wet and noisy suck, actions repeated over and over.

Remus ground his bum and his heels into the mattress, wondering despairingly if he might perform some childish accidental magic and just sink through it to safety. He had no such luck. There was a twist from Sirius’s thumb and index over one nipple and a scrape of teeth on the other. Remus came hard, shouting angrily into his hands, wishing he could take himself away from his humiliation. 

Sirius laughed delightedly low in his throat, and he used Remus’s temporary meltdown to undo all the other buttons. When his torso was bared underneath Sirius and the blankets, Remus found his self-preservation and hid his traitorous nipples from view with his arm. Sirius pouted and Remus panted fast and loud as they watched each other. Their blanket cocoon smelled strongly of sweat and come but Remus didn’t think he could take a trip outside. The sun was shining into their bedroom but the shadowy world underneath the covers was safer. He could feel his nipples throb underneath his arm, in time with his genitals it seemed. They weren’t supposed to be this sensitive, Remus was certain, it couldn’t be right how easy they were to manipulate. 

“I’ve only met one other person who could come from just nipple stimulation,” Sirius told him. He sounded happy and proud, as if the words were something to celebrate. Remus tried to push all the bad thoughts away, he really did. He couldn’t quite meet Sirius’s eyes, though, and his breaths were still coming in laboured bursts of air.

Sirius settled for no reply and put his mouth on Remus’s belly, pushing the flat of his tongue into Remus’s skin until he must have been able to map out every bit of give and resistance Remus’s muscles were able to provide. He didn’t dally on the sharp half-roundel of ribs, just kissed every jutting bone once in greeting. Then his mouth found the vulnerable bit where stomach meets groin, and Remus twitched and almost hid himself away again. Sirius’s lips sank into the tender flesh, and when he reached the light brown hair he licked and sucked on the pubes, very much all canine again. 

Remus bit his bottom lip repeatedly as he watched. Sirius was pulling down his pyjamas inch by inch and mouthing over every new bit of anatomy. When the whole of Remus’s scarred hip came into view Sirius descended fully on it, sucking the damaged pink and white werewolf toothmarks into his mouth, almost like he was trying to digest the curse, suck the poison out of Remus. Remus felt tears in the corners of his eyes as he watched. Sirius stilled with his tongue in the deepest gash, both his hands around Remus’s thigh. His eyes looked a little sad, almost mournful, and he was watching the old site of destruction with a new kind of intent. Remus felt heavy around his ribcage, the arm protecting the little nubs Sirius had lavished too much attention on felt like it was made from lead. 

Sirius’s thumbs began pressing into the thigh muscle, and Remus felt it intensely. He must have been close to cramping up, body tense with worry. Worry that this might be the moment when Sirius finally had enough of the constant reminder that a Dark Creature had irrevocably ruined him, that its spawn lived and thrived within Remus, savage on a scale where all the sweet kisses in Sirius’s mouth couldn’t tame it. Surely Sirius must see that he was sleeping with a monster.

Sirius gave the violent scar tissue a few more featherlight kisses, too light for Remus to really feel as his sense of touch was hit and miss around his hip. Constant reminders. The sadness was gone, and Sirius had that soft look in his eyes again, that molten quicksilver look that should put Remus’s defences up but that only made him think of love. His body was relaxing again, and Sirius moved to his other hip, the healthy one that showed what Remus should have looked like had his childhood not been torn to pieces. Sirius kissed him there, too, and he felt it acutely, lips sucking underneath his hipbone, tickling and arousing, and the same thumbs massaging his other thigh muscle, digging into nerve endings and releasing endorphins that seemed to shoot up and pool in his groin. 

Remus could feel his cock twitch again, apparently it was done with the hibernation the panicky childhood memories of being savaged by a werewolf put it in. He felt it grow hot and bloated, felt it move upwards and settle awkwardly on his stomach; Sirius’s hand teasingly stroking along his inner thigh and just nudging his balls. Sirius’s mouth moved into his pubes again, stopping just short of where Remus would like him to be, sucking intently on a curl of hair, wetting it with a delicious, ripping feeling. Then he moved down.

He heard Sirius wet a finger and he spread his legs a bit more. The warmth of the blankets was getting to him and sunlight was trying to pour through. It was hot and sweaty and difficult to breathe. 

Sirius kissed between his balls at the same time as he penetrated Remus with his finger. Remus’s hole was used to it and Remus thought it was fair to say his anus thoroughly enjoyed getting defiled by Sirius’s various body parts. Loved it. He shuddered as Sirius’s long finger wiggled its way unerringly to that spot, and it overwhelmed him to the point where he could barely feel the nice sensation of Sirius’s mouth sucking on his ball sack. His cock was reduced to a twitching and leaking mess, and he could feel a pinprick feeling in his nipples as they too responded to the finger on his prostate. The back of his neck felt alight with cold and hot and he felt sweaty and uncomfortable all over as well as very, very good. 

“Mhmm just a bit more…”

Remus bit his wrist angrily to quieten down, although it didn’t stop his moans completely. His other arm pressed into both of his nipples; they felt trapped and over-sensitized but the more he pressed down on them the closer he got to climax. Sirius’s finger was unrelenting, but not enough to make him feel full, which should have been a travesty in itself if it hadn’t been pushing so precisely into the right spot. Sirius bit playfully into his balls and Remus shouted into his wrist, pushed his hips up which was stupid with Sirius’s finger in him but he couldn’t help himself. He almost blacked out as he came, so many stimuli in all the places that shouldn’t be enough to push him over, his cock jerking uselessly by itself on his stomach and releasing hot and wet over him. Sirius continued to maul his prostate, finger light and easy now but absolutely too much and Remus had to hide his eyes from potential scrutiny. His body felt exhausted with him even though it was morning and he’d given it a good night’s sleep. 

Sirius finally stopped and licked and kissed his way back up Remus’s body, all the way up to his face. Remus’s eyes were dry again and he reluctantly let Sirius look at him, let Sirius see him for what he was. 

“I love you, I love you,” Sirius told him, both with his eyes and his mouth, and then he pushed his head up through the cocoon of blankets, sparkling sunlight hitting them both across their faces. 

“What a beautiful morning,” Sirius said, and Remus almost agreed with him.


End file.
